Constructive....

As I've a had a truly terrible or at least consistently bad day I've been trying to find something to distract me.  I've come round to a lot of self loathing based on the fact that every day my newsfeed and inbox and radio are full of sadness and senselessness at biblical proportions.  I feel guilt whenever I'm sad about something in my life that is not so epically terrible.  In any case, my sadness is best reserved for a glass of Prosecco and a diary.  However, I still need to write - it is cathartic.

So what am I writing about today?  Constructing something that is truly "fluff"  Who loves to dust?  Well not me either.  I honestly feel like it's something that died with the 1920s and house servants - I mean doesn't that dust just magically disappear on its own...in any case I still have a 'need' for a duster.  This need was brought about because I have to justify my purchase of yards and yards of flannel fabric from Joann's annual sale.  I mean, "come on! it's 75 cents a yard - who can refuse that?" So there I was scouring Pinterest for a flannel fabric pattern that wasn't a baby blanket or pajamas - voila enter the reusable swiffer.  It meets 3 of my basic crafting needs - Green, House Worthy & Adorable.

The process if fairly simple and I've included a link to the original poster.

Why mess with perfection?  Well to be honest I did tweak step 4.  Instead of just creating a straight line from one end of the pattern to the other, I traced the swiffer including an indent at the top of the sewn fabrics where the swiffer ends - I did this for two purposes

1. It shows you exactly which end the swiffer is inserted into.

2.  it stops the swiffer from sliding up and pulling out the stitches at the insertion point.

I will post pictures of my design when my phone is charged and my baby is not sleeping in the only room in the house with a working phone charger :/ #poorplanning

APPtastic I

So who isn't glued to their phone lately?  I try to make my time productive especially with all of the time that is sucked up by sacrificed to Facebook and Pinterest.  There are pages of apps on my phone but today I just want to talk about those that keep chemicals, free radicals and other unknown nastiness out of my home and out of my life.

Think Dirty:  Iphone & Android

This is one of my if not fast becoming my only GO TO app to check skin care, health & beauty products I'm thinking about buying.  While this company is seriously lacking in the cosmetic department they make up [pun intended] for it in the rest of the bathroom sink department.

What the app does:  it allows you to scan a barcode or enter the text of a product in order to receive a Think Dirty proprietary rating from 0-10.  0 being you could eat this stuff and it won't harm you to 10 being why don't you just paint nail polish on your eyeballs.  Initially I had problems with their ratings because the Environmental Working Group's rating could often be vastly different from TD.  However, I've come to love and trust TD ratings more because of the plethora of information to back up their decisions.

Features:

• Along with the number, their scores are color coded because green is good, yellow is questionable and red is best not to indulge. 
• Every harmful and not harmful chemical found within the product is categorized and explained in detail.
• They update their info more frequently than EWG's Skin Deep & they include "potential contaminations" if a certain product was in the news (the news being the science geek daily they receive somewhere secret) outlandish eg:  lavender from a factory in England which this particular body wash has sourced in the past was recently shown to have traces of arsenic. 
• Bathroom Shelf:  A fun roulette where you round up all the products in  your bathroom, scan them into the system and TD tells you just how dirty your life is.
• Our Picks - The option available on most products where the advisory board recommends alternatives to your chosen product in case you love your eyeliner but no longer want to subject yourself to hormone disruptors - they will give you a handful of healthy alternatives.  I'm fairly certain since the list is so random in terms of brand that they haven't yet received kick backs in order to promote certain brands.

Cost:  Free!

Post....Reality

First serious blog topic. Check

Postpartum Depression - apparently an affliction of not just the crazy, lonely, maladjusted, single, tragic story women in the world.  Before giving birth...literally the day of labor before I was so excited and confident and optimistic about this entire birth/motherhood vortex I was entering.  (Ok so maybe not ENTIRELY excited about the act of giving birth, but I was pretty confident - that part was honest)

There was literally a switch the minute that baby came rocketing out of me - and I do mean literally - stitches to prove it....although I guess they're not stitches anymore.  Anyways, digression aside - I was all of a sudden not so thrilled or excited or confident - I felt kind of blase and very tired and very disconnected from this dark skinned, hairy troll that was simultaneously screaming and chomping on me. Fast forward 6 weeks to now and I'm just starting to feel tinglings of positivity again.  Granted most days are an 80% cocktail of fear, anxiety, hopelessness and nausea, but it's that other 20% that is downright thrilling.

For the first 2 months of my baby's life I dreaded when people would want to talk to me about him or the birth or comment on how sweet he is.  How sweet is getting woken up every 45 minutes for two weeks straight?  How sweet is it when you can't sit on a chair for a month because he literally destroyed me?  How sweet is it when you can't shower or eat or go to the bathroom for 3 days straight because you're trying to meet his needs?  And how SWEET is it when you do all of this and he screams - like a velociraptor in your face for 4-5 hours straight every night?  Oh yes....he/it's all very sweet.  Then, people tell you "this too shall pass..." and I mutter something under my breath about I hope you pass....I mean not really...mostly not really.

Fast forward to now and again I reassure you I'm feeling much better - not myself - but better.  I really don't think you ever get yourself back after a traumatic event, but rather I think you have a puzzle pieced version of yourself with colorful duct tape and antiqued modge podge holding you together.  [I love that Modge Podge has marketed & created an empire based solely on various shades of opaqueness in their glue and the public eats that stuff up (glitter, antique, really antique, matte, shiny, etc.)]

Recipe for survival & finding oneself:
- Showering (no joke it's important and will shockingly become difficult to squeeze in)

- Amazon Video or Netflix account for binge watching and making new friends who are available with the click of a button.
        In order of preference: Catastrophe (LOL'd about these new parents experiencing life),  Bachelor or Bachelorette (makes you happy you're not out there dating/sleeping around), The Office (no explanation needed), Mr. Selfridge (Jeremy Piven is fancy?!?! I've got to see this)

- Real friends to drag you out of the house even when you SWEAR to them and yourself you don't want to.

- Prosecco - it's bubbly and makes me happy and for the 40 minutes I enjoy the glass at night once Jack's in bed I catch glimpses of my old life

- Coffee.....Lots of it - I'll confess I make half decaf that way I can drink more and not feel guilty (by MORE: I mean an Iced Cold Brew in the afternoon)

- Your partner - whomever they may be and giving them just 2% of yourself even though it will feel like 90 at the end of the day.  They need to see that you're still in there and willing to come out.

- 3 months....wait for it....your baby will finally give back (don't get too excited, it's just a smile but it's weird how gratifying that smile can be)